Hello, everyone...here's another article about how to parent effectively...hope some find it useful.

When Kids Disobey

One of the occasional difficulties of being a parent is dealing with children when they refuse to behave. Parents need to learn how to diffuse the energy of children in order to change their behaviors. The best way to cope is to understand why children disobey. Here are tips that be can shared with parents so they better understand their children’s behaviors:

• Control. In a world dominated by adults, children often feel that they have no control. They try to get the upper hand by manipulating situations so that parents, teachers, and other authorities are left feeling helpless.

• Attention. Kids may feel ne¬glected when they act positively. They hope to get more attention through negative behavior.

• Revenge. Sometimes children are unintentionally hurt. They want to get back at parents because they feel temporarily unloved.

• Frustration. A lack of success can be discouraging for children. They may feel no hope for suc¬cess, and they may misbehave to keep parents from expecting any¬thing from them.

Incorrect tactics:
• Yelling won’t get you anywhere. When you shout, you only fuel your child’s desire for you to lose control.

• Promises of punishment that go unfulfilled teach children that their behavior will be tolerated.

• Ignoring your child will only cause louder and longer outbursts.

Effective tactics:
• Focus on your child’s strengths. Compliments and rewards for good behavior will go a long way toward letting the child know that you are paying attention.

• Keep your cool in times of stress. This is especially true when children are trying your patience with misbehavior. When the power is clearly in your hands, children will quickly learn that their attempts to seize control are futile.

• Set consistent guidelines. Children need to know—without a doubt—what they can and cannot do.

• Read between the lines. Children don’t always know how to express their feelings. Their misbehavior may indicate that they are feeling lonely, tired, or left out.

• Reinforce with affection. Smiles and hugs will let children know that they have indeed improved their behavior.

Dr. Dave